Cancer is a harsh realization not only for the person with the disease but for his or her relatives and friends. Relatives and friends find they have to think about how they relate to cancer and the person who has it. It is hard to see a loved one becoming sick
Cancer patient’s relatives’ and friends’ have lot of question. Will he/she recover? What should you say to the person who has cancer? How can I best be a support? Should I talk about cancer to him/her? Many people feel that they are reacting and thinking about it wrongly.
Everybody handles the crisis in their own way. It often takes a while for one to be ready to acknowledge the fact of having a serious illness. Work, hurrying about or drinking can all shield one from reality. Absorbing the situation will happen in its own time. A practical and calm approach will help you face the situation and avoid unnecessary anxiety..
The best support friends or relatives can give those with cancer is to be there for them and to be prepared to listen to them. Better to encourage ill loved ones to talk about difficult matters than to get them to forget about their critical situation. It takes courage on the part of listeners to confront their own feelings. Sometimes loved ones may feel disappointed if those who are ill do not respond as hoped, but instead remain aloof or reject the help being offered them. However, the support and care that relatives and friends provide is not wasted.
Advice for the relatives and friends of people with cancer
- Support as best you can: sometimes simply presence and nearness are enough.
- Keep up relationships outside the family: relatives and friends are needed for support during recovery.
- Try to continue doing the things and recreation that have previously been a source of strength.
- Supporting someone who is ill is easier when you deal with your own fears, for instance by discussing them with a third party.
- Be available and tell the person who is ill that you are.
- If the person who is sick withdraws and does not want to talk, continue to be present and to offer help.
- Remember that the illness is tiring: if the person who is ill does not feel up to doing something together today, they might tomorrow.